I Hate Seattle

1. Tell people in other parts of the country Seattle doesn't deserve its reputation for rain.

2. Get in your car and turn on the windshield wipers- because it's raining.

3. Drive ten miles an hour under the speed limit in the left lane.

4. Go to work and engage in no social contact whatsoever- speak and make eye contact only when absolutely necessary.

5. Spend $35 for a cup of coffee at Starbucks.

6. Complain about the Sonics leaving town even though it's been four years.

7. Tell yourself over and over again that Seattle is a world class city (even though it's not).

where was I in my explosive rant? Oh yes, passive aggression.

I never heard of passive aggression until I came here. In the south it is almost non-exsistent. You say what you mean, and mean what you say. And if you are delicate with words, then that's what you are, delicate. There's nothing wrong with tact and diplomacy, but you still say what you have to say. Here, people will judge you relentlessly, without even getting to know you, and then close off any possible way of ever reconciling your differences. You are simply DEAD to them, and you haven't even given them a reason to be pissed off. If you had, there's no way of knowing it, because they just won't SAY IT.

Hell, maybe they feel it's not worth it to get to know you. People here seem to pride themselves on having Darwinian standards for everything. If you're not attractive or without the resources they are currently on the prowl for, then you're not worth getting to know. Now, they won't own this crass shallowness. At least your LA socialite has a certain self awareness of his superficiality, and will usually wear it on his sleeve. Seattlelites will just feign ignorance. They have a delusional justification for everything....

So why am I still here, you ask? Because I moved here from the sticks of Bama, and this is the first city i've ever lived in. I figured I would give it a benefit of a doubt. I haven't been a complete hermit since my arrival either. I've made just enough flimsy acquaintances to pull me through. Two years ago, I met a wonderful girl, from here no less, and we are now happily married.

I still don't really have any friends other than my wife. But you know what, I can't go around pointing my finger at my environment without also pointing the finger at myself. The one thing I can say about this place is that with it's numbing rain, isolation and intellectual leanings it forces you to be introspective. I have grown more, spirtually and mentally, in Seattle, than in the 21 formative years I spent in Alabama.

I will always see Seattle's shortcomings, and believe me, I will continue to post (perhaps less epicly). Now if I can make only one good, solid, male friend then I will be socially content.

When I first moved here from Alabama, about six years ago, I was absolutely enchanted by Seattle. The lush greenery, handsome skyline, diversity of cultures and counter cultures, and so forth were all very pleasing to my naive, southern eye. But after I settled here for about six months, I noticed that all isn't as it seems. Even though this is a very pretty city, it is extremely empty on the inside.

In the south, I considered myself to be liberal minded and always equated liberalism with tolerance, open mindedness and harmony. In contrast to the loud mouthed bigotry of SOME republicans, the southern bred liberal was mostly a progressive and peaceful person, who considered both sides of any argument, and had a great sense of humor about it. Now, don't get me wrong, not everybody was that balanced with communication, but you generally knew where you stood with a person, liberal or conservative.

Disclaimer: Now before I make any blanket statements, let me say that not everybody is as I will describe. I will just use Seattleite as a generalization of what i've seen for the most part. I'm going to let off some steam now...

Seattleites are NOT nice. They are not tolerant of differences, and are very elitist. They form closed off cliques of people whose image and resources they feel they can immediately benefit from. And even though they are nerds for the most part, (which is not bad) they are also extremely superficial. Customer service is poor and I have often felt that the person behind the counter was mocking me. People here act like grown up kids. Not that they have a child like appreciation for life, but like they are grown up, spoiled brat, rich kids who pout anytime you say something that bursts their little Seattle bubble. They are passive agressive. I didn't even know what passive aggressive was until I came to this place, where the word is demonstrated on a moment to moment basis...

Ugh! I'm running out of time and have to go to work. I'll be back for part 2.

I had some really great friends move to Seattle about 10 years ago, and always had a fun time hanging out with them. We became like brothers, and it was a huge group of us, but our paths separated for our individual goals and I stayed in California as they made their way up here.
I finally had the chance to visit them several years ago during the winter, and got a first-hand taste of how overcast and crummy the weather can be during that period.
I did love the feel of the city -- it seemed like being in San Francisco when that was cool -- the 70s and 80s, and I did like having the access to all the benefits of a big city but a modicum of the bullshit that made me so tired of being in the Bay Area.
After returning last summer, I decided that it would be a great idea to move here.
After being here a year, I'd like to share some thoughts on the matter:
The weather here is horrific. No two ways about it. You literally get to see the sun about once a week, and the views that make this place majestic are a rare sight even in summer. When the weather does get nice, every asshole and his bitch puts on shorts and walks around like it's August in Maui. Fucking pathetic. Anything you would want to do to take advantage of actually having sunlight is complicated by the throngs of outdoorsy types who really just want to use that REI stuff they bought to show everyone how outdoorsy they really are.
Parking is ridiculous. Countless times I see assholes park on or over lines because they are too pretentious to think of anyone else and everyone here is a fucking exception to the rule.
The "men" here are total pussies. Everyone talks shit, but no one wants a confrontation. On the bright side, there aren't really any intimidating people who will actually try to hurt someone. So, props to you Seattle! It's safe mainly because everyone here is a pussy.
The women here are uppety bitches. Just because you bought a reusable bag for the supermarket and procure your frozen meals at Trader Joe's, you're better than everyone else. Walking around with a glass of wine at an art show full of abhorrent shit, you check in on facebook just to show everyone how much of an aristocrat you are. Awesome.
Tattoos: Thanks Seattle for playing out a permanent mark. All the "individuals" here get the same ink done, and will look 10 times as pathetic when all that pale skin starts to sag. Good luck getting decent jobs with sleeves of ink that show just how damn independent you are. I know I want my wife to look like she was attacked by a blind graffiti artist. Real classy.
Attitude: Pretentious and lack of depth. Native Seattleites haven't had to deal with so many issues that virtually every other citizen of a big city has to deal with, so most people are sheltered and oblivious to the world at large (yes, even despite the documentaries they watch and repeat back as if they are so damned worldly).
What bothers me the most, however, is the amount of people here whose shit does not stink. Everyone here is better than you, so don't try to fight it. Every small problem is a huge issue because they have been coddled their whole fucking life, and if something does not go their way, it's the end of the world. Try living in Baltimore or Compton, then tell me how sad it is that you don't have a bike lane on every street. Bitches.
Despite all this, I am staying and giving it a shot -- I know there's got to be something here that's worth it, I just need help finding it.