"M.J., Seattle, WA
The constant gas from my IBS had turned my social life completely upside down. At the age of only 50, I had basically stopped going out and had given up. It is no exaggeration to say that Odafree has given me my life back!"
M.J. might blame the lack of a social life on his monstrous shits, but it's another attempt at consumer kitsch to save you from the inevitable.
For a couple of years I have been trying to identify the subtleties of Seattle milieu. While I'm not intending to relay all of my observations here, I would like to highlight a particular brand of solipsism (that is a bit déclassé if you're trying to be world-class, Seattle). Quite plainly, if you are going to own a dog you are responsible for its shit (literally).
IM EXCERPT
11:21 This girl takes her pit bull right infront of me and watches it urinate on the table in the public space on the roof...
…and starts calling it like "here honey, here baby"
So I start screaming at her . . . "YOUR DOG IS PISSING ON THE BAMBOO TABLE! THERE ARE NO DOGS UP HERE!'
She gets indignant about it, looks at me like I'm the piece of shit (curled up nose & narcy snear) and marches up to me and shrills "What do you mean of course there are dogs here all the time . . . "
So I point to the sign that says no pets (condescendingly)
"I don't know what kind of trailer park you crawled from, but this is not your personal urinal and shitting ground because you're too lazy to adequately care for a pit bull. Get the fuck over your passive aggressive ass coming up here letting your dog take a shit every few hours, piss all over the furniture and lie to my face like the mutt never happened . . ."
To Preface: Earlier in the day she came up (to the roof) and said "go potty honey…go potty"
and then does it AGAIN in the evening
this time right in front of me and tries to lie and that it wasn't doing anything wrong, and I'm the one with the problem because I'm "being rude" by reasonably calling her on her literal shit.
11:23: Are you kidding me?!
_________
Several blue-collar bourgeois try to "brand" Seattle as a progressive utopia, where in reality the practice is more of a dystopian nightmare. It's the progressive verison of hypocrisy for assholes. The experience is no less tangible than purchasing a massproduced 'version' of something else (don't forget Seattle's WAMU did want to be the Walmart of the banking industry) . . .
. . . but back to point . . . there's a certain kind of selfishness, disrespect, and lack of courtesy I experience from people pretending to be "somebody" (overcompensating narcissist) or "classy" (provincial) in Seattle. This should not be confused with other idiosyncrasies that complete the Seattle Freeze (social disease). It's as if the person believes they are somehow special and don't need to bother doing ____________ at all. Further, if you call them on this or point out the fallacy in their logic, you no longer carry any weight in their limited attention span and are completely ignored (as they run away posting a tweet on what a fuckwad you are). You simply do not matter, because the individual is so stunted they are incapable of anything other than their own idiotic bubble.
Regardless of your political persuasions (or socioeconomic class), it is simply TRASHY to use a public place as a litter box for your fucking dog---especially if you're living in a building that has condos on the market for $800k (get over yourself).
Yes, princess, I know that owning a big dog comes with its gross responsibilities; I know that having to use a bag to scoop up an enormous turd is icky. Perhaps you could get one of the many gentlemen you have over to fuck you be a gentleman (instead of talk on his phone ignoring the environment around him) and do it for you? Quit being a lazy bitch.