I Hate Seattle

My house in the Madrona neighborhood sold. The real estate agent from KW that I used was a complete douchbag. He greedily overpriced the house when it went on the market. It sat for months. Over the months and many open houses, I noticed that he had worn only one pair of somewhat expensive dress shoes (that he likely lucked out finding at the Goodwill).

The painfully Asian/Seattle family that bought my home will likely blend in perfectly in my neighborhood. They will enjoy NOT talking with any of the neighbors, not interacting in the neighborhood, and not participating in anything locally. It's the perfect Asian and Seattle way to live life, avoiding your neighbors and your surroundings, as if this is any difference from the way that Asians drive their vehicles.

They'll also enjoy having their 24/7/365 rice cooker on my expensive granite counter tops, using the Dacor stove and innundating the kitchen with cooking that smells and looks like fishing-bait, and unfortunately, there's no 'slot' in the Miele dishwasher for 'chop-sticks' and will jam the arm on the dishwasher and give an error code..."NO CHOPSTICKS".

I'm certain that there's at least 20 pairs of shoes on the front porch from the family and all twelve or so relative that are sleeping on mats on the floor, as it's very Asian to take your shoes off before entering the house. Unfortunately...it's Seattle, and Papasan's odor-eaters are soaked through from the rain. He's gotta be to work at Microsoft early to work on the Mandarin language level translator and Mamasan is busy beating his odor-eaters against the brick retaining wall. He's spent the entire week working on the Mandarin to English translation for, "Sexy Hot Mama". So far he's come up with, "Hot Rice From Mother". It ain't a'workin'. Fortunately, his department boss is Vietnamese and covers for him. They often leave Microsoft campus and enjoy REAL American food for lunch together, like burgers, fries, and real beer.

I'm not a racist. I call it like I've seen it for many years. I've moved back to the Southeast Gulf coast, and have been enjoying life here with real people that know how to interact as normal people.

The last Asian person I had seen here since relocating, was at the Chinese restaurant buffet. You can keep Seattle, the Asian population, and all the passive-agressive people. The weather, cost of living, and all the other bullshit, goes without saying.

Fortune Cookie Say: "Round-eye, that not chicken. No, we not see your kitty-cat"

Seattle's been termed, "The city with a little bit of heart, and no soul". Much like a vampire, Seattle seems to suck the life forces out of people unwillingly and unknowingly that have moved here from other cities.

Notice how typically 'whimpy' most men are in this town? Frail men wearing sandles and spandex shorts in the winter, sporting little pale birdy legs, pushing their 'built for speed around Greenwood Lake' three wheeled baby carriages through QFC through the organic grocery section, and reaching into their "Murse" (man-purse) for their billfold at the checkout line to use their debit card to pay for a single item under five dollars?

It's embarrassing for me to be part of the male human race in Seattle, and to top it off, I'm a proud gay man. When I moved here from the Midwest, "Grunge" was in, and I figured that all these occurrances were merely coincidental, concerning waredrobe malfunctions and faux pas. I was wrong.

Seattle will not only suck the heart and soul out of you, it will also drain men of testosterone and turn them into metro-sexual, passive-agressive, Tofu-eating, spandex wearing, obsessive recycling, drones that look down upon their noses and challenge others concerning living up to their 'neutered' standards as a proper being on the face of this planet.

It's amazing that anyone can procreate in Seattle without testosterone. Oh.....that's right! We'll make more little metro-sexual/sexually ambiguous children to follow in our paths.

They're taking over the Westcoast. We're getting out as soon as the house sells. Back to the South, where everything is in true prospective, and where men are men, and anything 'metro-sexual' would get the ever living crap kicked out of his @ss without a bunch of 'processing' the situation, first!

It's been nice to be able to post here, and read other like minded opinions, here. Aside from the expected hecklers that have nothing better to do than slam and denigrade others for their own sick and twisted pleasure, that do it anonymously, it's a cathartic way to seek temporary peace durring our exit stratagy of Seattle....FOREVER.

Yes, boys and girls, and everyone in between, it has actually been written in black and white and published in the Seattle Times, concerning the malaise of this city with it's major malfunction with the people.

You can read it here:

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/pacificnw/2005/0213/cover.html

The article was written in 2005, and not much has improved since then, and things have only gotten worse in Seattle. Including that 'flip-flop' and Croc shoe sales are tied to the local economic barometer and Tom Douglas is opening a fifth restaurant and is currently seeking rude people to staff his new restaurant.

.....waiter. Check please.

Juneuary moving into Julyuary. We're not going to join the huddled coat-clad masses to watch the Seattle fireworks at any location in the rain. We're done with the weather here, and have been done with it for a while.

I'm hoping to hear back from "imtrngn2avampire", as she and her partner are leaving Seattle for New Orleans, like we are. They're originally from the South.

Seattle might have lined my pockets nicely, but, it depleated my soul and I'm suffering from a vitamin deficiency and the need to feel the Sun on my back and naked chest.

Let me start out and preface the fact that I AM an animal lover. I have two cats and a Dalmatian.

First gripe: I've been in the home service industry the entire time I've been in Seattle. I have to make house-calls to your home. My job is stressful enough, let alone ringing your doorbell and having Fido go nuts on the other side of the door. I'm usually greeted by you and often told, "He/she is friendly and just wants to get to know you, first." Most of the time the dog is not held back by the owner and does as he/she pleases with me, until satisfied, with sniffing and jumping up on my legs. In 15 years, the 'friendly dog' has bitten me, four times. I know you love your dog, I DON'T HAVE TO, IT'S NOT IN MY JOB DESCRIPTION. Put Fido in the back yard, kennel, or bedroom, please.

Second gripe: What is up with people taking their dogs to grocery stores, home improvement warehouses, and just about any other place? The doors are clearly marked, "Service Animals ONLY". Your dog doesn't have special rights! What's worse than the pet owners thumbing their noses at the rules, are the milk-toast owners/employees of the establishments allowing this to happen? I'm waiting to hear on the news that someone was bitten at the grocery store by a dog, the owner of the dog and the grocery store chain are now being sued. Is a lawsuit necessary for enforcement to start happening?